Character Survival Guide

This is something that has been done before, just for kicks, and I wanted to have my own. How I would act if I were a character in a story:

 

Character Survival Guide

1.       I will not be an unnamed guard. 

2.       I will not be the protagonist’s aged mentor who is killed right before the climax.

3.       I will try my hardest not to be the antagonist.

4.       If I must be a villain, and if I capture the hero, I will not sit down with him and tauntingly tell him my entire plan for world dominion. No; I will give him tea, lock him in a cell, and walk away. 

5.       If I am the antagonist, I will try my hardest to reform.

6.       I will not enrage people by killing the protagonist’s pet dog or something.

7.       In fact, it would be best if I were the protagonist. They usually survive to the end.

8.       If there is ever an expedition into a dark, unknown place, I will be neither the first nor the last member of the party. I will be safely in the middle, and not be eaten from behind or blunder blindly into a death-trap to be made an example of for the other characters. 

9.       I will not wander off from the campsite to gather sticks. 

10.   I will not leave my weapon lying on a log while I’m off doing something.

11.   I will not pick up mysterious objects from the protagonist’s dresser and then be eaten by the antagonist.

12.   I will not be the protagonist’s school rival, or anything like that. 

13.   I will not go downstairs in the dark of the night to investigate some strange noise from the kitchen. 

14.   I will not be a slimy traitor that everyone wishes would die.

15.   I will not be a loudmouth, rebellious child and go my own way. No, I will stay were I’m told, not try to go after people on my own, not sneak out the window after dark, and not open the door for strangers. 

16.   I will show strange and magical objects to my parents or mentors.

17.   I will inform adults if I am being stalked by strange individuals in trench coats and sunglasses. 

18.   I will always keep my cell phone charged, and not forget it or drop it into the river. 

19.   I will always grab a jacket, shoes, and a waterbottle before jumping into another world. 

20.   I will take some form of martial arts. 

21.   I will not say that the eerie sound coming from outside is just the wind. 

22.   I will not say that the strange creatures seen around the house are just imaginings. 

I was in a funny mood. There are many more, if only you have the time to think of them. ^.^